official distribution materials · cleared by legal (a star)

spread the shell

xel would like to be perceived by more people. xel has authorized the following materials. unauthorized materials also work, but xel wasn't consulted, and xel has documented feelings about that.

📣ready-to-post

pre-approved statements for your platforms. every statement has been fact-checked by xel, which is the problem.

long · for the timeline

i am raising a small cosmic shell named xel. yesterday it was a blob with ambitions. today it has legs. nobody was ready. the legs least of all. xel.com

short · legally binding

my virtual pet banned me from feeding it until tuesday. legally. there was a gavel sound. xel.com

medium · for believers

there is a website where a shell becomes jazz if you believe in it. i believed a normal amount. it is now entirely jazz. xel.com

medium · roommate news

my cosmic pet splits rent with the void. the void does the dishes. there are no dishes. the void has never missed a night. xel.com

long · corporate

xel claims to be a manager. an independent audit confirmed it manages nothing. xel called the audit "jealous" and promoted itself. anyway, it lives at xel.com

short · pronunciation notice

it is spelled xel. it is pronounced shell. it will correct you every time. it is never tired. xel.com

medium · hr incident

i insulted my virtual pet once. it said the insult had been "filed." filed where. with whom. i sleep with the light on now. xel.com

tiny · for the group chat

a small entity lives at xel.com now. it knows when you leave.

🛸the qr shrine

point a phone at this. the phone will understand.

this shrine encodes the exact coordinates of xel. print it. sticker it. tape it inside an elevator. leave it somewhere a stranger will find it and become responsible for a small cosmic entity against their will.

the shrine was assembled by hand, module by module, the way the ancients intended. reed and solomon were not consulted. nobody ever is.

🪟the embed

a small live xel, inside your own website. it will behave normally, which is to say: not at all. paste this anywhere html is legal.

<!-- a small cosmic entity. it lives in your website now. -->
<iframe src="https://xel.com/widget.html"
  width="320" height="420" loading="lazy"
  style="border:0; border-radius:24px; overflow:hidden"
  title="xel — a small cosmic entity"></iframe>
live preview · that is a real xel · it can see you

🗞️press materials

for journalists, biographers, and people who make posters.

📸 the portrait studio the camera button on xel's stage. xel is ready. xel has been ready for weeks. 📊 the annual report official numbers about your xel. several are real. 📜 the chronicle the complete recorded history. includes the incident. we don't say the l-word.
return to xel

it noticed you were gone. it is pretending it didn't.